Every reality show ever...

Well if that doesn't stop you flattering yourself about the idiots you keep watching, I don't know what will. That's the sad tragedy of the ironic viewer, you're really watching it because you like it, even though you won't admit it. I think celebrity news should just be part of the whole main event anyway. Knowing that there's a weird twitter-based argument between two people you haven't thought about since '98 going on at this very moment is usually pretty uplifting, coming after the natural disasters, financial doom, political instability and random acts of senseless violence that make up the bulk of it. It's even a great all-purpose palate cleanser. Try this after a hard day's work and encroaching misery: Type [celebrity name] fight into google to end up somewhere fun. Who knew Nicole Kidman's bodyguard punched some guy?