The devil whisked the excise men away

I just came back from a lecture by a professor of medieval literature who was so damaged by years of trying to interest students in the middle ages that he spent about two hours cracking jokes about everything. It was sort of entertaining, but every semi-interesting point was drowned out by the next wisecrack. The thing that really got on my tits though, was the musical accompaniment, a series of earnestly performed British and Irish folk songs about leprechauns. I can't say I'm an expert on this kind of music, but I have a sneaking suspicion that like a lot of countryside traditions, this one stems from 19th century bourgeois angst about the industrial revolution. That would also explain why all these supposedly medieval songs have lyrics in recognisable modern English, with the occasional ye olde English touch, i.e. why they all sound like Gilbert and Sullivan present: A country lad goes a-courtin. I can't wait to tell the only Irishman I know about the leprechaun song and wait for the blast of bile to hit me.

The images in the media are killing girls!

Those cheeky advertising boys, always playing to women's insecurities. And constantly having to see attractive women, and pornography of course. What I find most annoying though is the constant denial of the most important factor: other women and their constant transparent mind games. It sometimes seems like every woman I know has a coterie of five or six 'friends' hanging around whose only purpose is to damn everything you do with faint praise. Pointing this out won't make you popular, but fuck it, it has to be said. My mother cleans her house before the cleaning lady comes, so she won't see the mess. Yeah, of course her house is clean, in fact she's so good at cleaning you hired her. The only thing you can apparently hope for is if one of their kids is on drugs, or their boyfriend is gay so you can chuckle about it in private, even though you'd rather laugh in their face...
Luckily, you can always watch oprah, which is the same thing, but as a TV show.

Food porn addict

I didn't want to show a clip of one of the dozens of food porn shows I regularly watch, but the current incarnation of Masterchef, not the Loyd Grossman version parodied above, is one of the best. Top five would probably be:

- Masterchef
- Heston Blumenthal's In search of perfection
- Both Ramsay shows, but more kitchen nightmares
- Keith Floyd getting drunk somewhere
- Anthony Bourdain's No Reservations

Despite watching all this and owning half a dozen recipe books, I get the distinct impression from friends and family members that I'm not that good at it. Everyone always eats it, so it's probably not horrible, but most of the time they just marvel at my impromptu solutions to things like airdrying (a fan). Perhaps I'd have a better palate if I quit smoking, and I could finally find out if anything I've cooked is actually edible. If you don't know who Keith Floyd was, this pretty much encapsulates him:

2 unlimited are back , sort of

The name 2 Unlimited still belongs to the Belgian producers, but former lovers (they confirmed it!) and bandmates Ray and Anita have put together a new single, which may be popular or not. Though commercial dance is still popular in Holland (is it popular anywhere else?) I don't reckon this is going to be a big come back, but you never know. I saw Anita in a Never mind the buzzcocks line up, so I assumed they were in the same kind of celebrity limbo that usually leads to a reality soap, but apparently they're still in the music business. Oddly enough, the duo from 2 Unlimited mark 2, the new singers recruited after contract disputes are also releasing a new single, though this unconfirmed as yet. 90's nostalgia has a lot of records to sell this January.