Give it a stupid name and the kids will love it!

Thank you, kid cudi for those banal words on behalf your corporate sponsor. Whenever I look for a popsong to wax lyrical about these days, I tend to run into this nonsense. Honestly, a service like this would have been awesome 5 years ago, but it's getting kind of ridiculous and weird the way the music industry tries to shove failing legal formats through our throats. I still buy music, probably more than I ever did before, no thanks to record companies though. Why don't they just give in? It's not like the film industry is any better, but these guys in music just seem to be insane about this stuff. Nobody cares about your stupid platform unless you have something more to offer than youtube itself. Many wishes of painful death for the marketing team that came up with the name Vevo. You can't just smack two random syllables together, you morons.

Superior pop songs

There's a dearth of songs like this in the hit parades, in fact, it's more or less what hit parades are for, deliciously sweet, sentimentally encrusted caramel lattices of music covering a gooey center of asinine teenage emotions. It fizzes, pops, it's cracking. It has all the style and chops missing from those dour representations of teenage misery or inexplicably awful rapper bullshit that pervades the rest of the charts. So why is it missing so often? My theory is the total unwillingness of record executives and artists to venture into this area without ironic quotation marks, lest heartbroken teenagers dismiss it as uncool. In the scuffle for some kind of general relatability to the public, mediocrity tends to triumph in the most surprising ways.

Why I hate Indie Music

That sketch is the reason in a nutshell. Supposedly music for white, middle class teenagers craving rebellion, most music that is described as 'indie' tends way more to soporific love songs or embarrassingly twee bullshit. This last decade the names have gone this route as well, so if you intend to listen to a single by The Disappointed Unicorns or Puppies and kittens fighting for candy, prepare to have all the enamel blasted off your teeth while a twenty-something hello-kitty enthusiast laments the bittersweet ending of a relationship with an emotionally unavailable woman in a nasal whine. Shouldn't music for people under thirty mostly be loud, stupid and appropriately horrifying to their parents? If this stuff becomes the music of the next generation, than it's finally happened to me, I will be a 28-year old man who despises youth culture and wishes kids would grow up and stop listening to that garbage. I'ts so terrible it's made me hate myself.

Because everyone's posting it..

This is, of course the new viral video of the moment. No further comment.

Physician, heal thyself

I sympathise with the kid, of course. There are dozens of therapists with all kinds of credentials on T.V., most of whom espouse some form of this theory, or something that makes even less sense. I'm not against the concept of therapy itself, but what happens when people who may well be quite competent in fixing your problems face-to-face need to summarise, condense and make broad generalisations of complicated concepts that may or may not be applicable to your particular circumstances, for television. The only discriminating factor is whether or not the fat lady cries. Ultimately, what your problem, or someone else's is, is far too personal to be applied to a rigid system, which is why most of them are either simplistic or nonsensical. Yes, Dr. Phil is often right, but the problems are usually kind of dumb as well. A chat with a good friend might also convince you to stop letting your kid beat you up. You don't really need to be told on T.V. that that's probably bad parenting.